Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Loving Massage

There are few more lovingly intimate ways of spending time with your partner than giving each other a massage. As a powerful form of nonverbal communication, massage can strengthen an already loving relationship and build bridges where there are problems.

Head

A head massage is one of the nicest gifts you can give your partner, especially if they have had a hard day, as it releases all tension.

Ask your partner to sit comfortably, while you sit or stand behind them. Take off jewellery that might catch on their skin, then place your fingertips on the scalp. Run your open fingers softly through the hair. With quite a firm circular motion, rotate your fingers around the scalp, changing the size of the circles and gradually increasing the pressure. Concentrate on areas such as behind the ears, along the hairline and the base of the skull.

Now concentrate on the forehead, gliding your thumbs from the top of the nose in an arch to the sides of the head and back. Repeat, following the line of the eyebrow, and adapt it by using small circular strokes with the balls of your thumbs. Next, sweep your thumbs gently down the sides of the nose and across the sinuses, then out towards the checkbones before repeating.

Cup your hands into a loose fist and support the back of the ears with the side of your first finger, using your thumbs to make circular motions all around the rims. Then move down to grasp the lobe between the tips of your thumb and index finger and gently pull it down, allowing it to slip through your fingers before repeating.

Shoulders

A good place to start a full body massage is the shoulders and back, as these areas often contain the most knots and tight muscles. By easing the tension there, you pave the way for a totally relaxing and sensual full body massage - truly a great act of love.

Ask your partner to lie on their front. Put a small amount of massage oil on your hands and rub them together to warm it. Start at the top of the shoulders with both hands flat on the skin with the neck between them. Run your hands up the back of the neck, then down and along the tops of the shoulders in long sweeping strokes. Repeat with a firmer pressure using your thumbs. Begin to focus on specific areas, gradually increasing the pressure, pressing your thumbs into the muscular areas using small circular strokes until you can feel the muscles loosening up. Punctuate the more intense circular strokes with the sweeping strokes to add variety and encourage relaxation.

Extend your massage down your partner's back. Place your hands flat on either side of the top of the spine and sweep down to the base. On the upward sweep, apply more pressure by using your bodyweight. Vary this stroke by sweeping your hands out to the sides using fanning strokes or a harder circular pressure with the heels of your hands. Avoid directly massaging the spine.

Breasts

Massaging a woman's breasts is a sensual experience for both parties. It is best done with the woman lying on her back. You may find it easier to straddle your partner, but do not sit on her. Begin by placing your hands palms down under each breast with your thumbs out to form an "L" shape and the breast cupped in the crook of the "L". Using quite firm pressure, circle your hands upwards and inwards and as they rotate inwards, bring the thumb and index finger together so that they end up lightly pinching the nipples before beginning again. If you want, you can concentrate on one breast, using a similar technique but this time with one hand following the other to complete the circle.

Another technique is to use your fingers and thumbs to pinch the nipple area gently before slowly fanning your fingers out across the breast. Use a light pressure around the nipple and increase the pressure as your fingers span out.

Thighs

It is easier to massage the thighs with your partner lying on their back, as they can bend their knees. Cup one hand on the underside of the thigh and the other on the top, just above the knee. Increase the pressure in the tips of your thumbs and fingers as you glide your hands up the length of the thigh and down again. Vary your strokes from feather light to harder fanning, using the heel of your hand to give pressure in a constant sweeping motion.

Buttocks

Sit at your prone partner's side and softly knead the buttocks with both hands, gradually increasing the pressure. Next, hold your hands above one buttock, keeping them taut, flat, straight and parallel, and use a sharp chopping motion to strike it. Use alternate hands and move up and down the length of the buttock.

Intimate Massage

Massage, unlike making love, has the advantage that it can be done virtually anywhere. It relaxes and soothes the tension that family life can bring, it encourages the physical closeness which both partners need and it is a wonderful way of saying 'I love you'.

Making time to give each other a 5- or 10-minute massage each day will be good for you both. It could be some head, neck and shoulder massage for your partner after a day's work, back stroking to encourage a good night's sleep, back and shoulder massage to ease backache, or leg massage after long periods of standing. Even if you start in a rather unwilling state of mind, you will soon find that the hypnotic effect of the rhythmical strokes takes over. The first massage described below is the kind of all-body massage you can both enjoy. Try it out or, even better, make up your own.

Whole-body sequence

Starting with the back, use the flat of both hands to stroke from the small of the back up on either side of the spine to the shoulders and then across them and down the sides to the bottom of the spine again. Repeat several times. If nervousness makes your partner ticklish, then stroke more firmly. Once he or she is truly relaxed, you can do more delicate stroking if you wish.

Next, massage downwards on both sides of the thigh nearest you until you reach the knee. Repeat several times, and then do the same from the knee down to the ankle. Stroke the sole of the foot several times. Gently push the foot so that the toes point up to stretch the back of the leg and ankle and repeat the foot stroking.

Let that foot rest in your hands for a few moments before you start on the other leg. Keeping your hands still for a short while on one part of the body before moving onto the next is warming and it signals gentleness and care. Abrupt movements in massage can be very jarring. So, when you finish the sequence, rest your hands on your partner's body and then remove them slowly and gently so as not to disrupt the sensation of peace and contentment.

Perineal massage

Insert a thumb into your vagina and gently stroke the base of it backwards and forwards in a U-shaped curve. Once you are accustomed to this technique, you can massage more vigorously and eventually use both thumbs. You should be able to feel your perineum beginning to stretch. Maintain that level of pressure for 30-60 seconds so that you can accustom yourself to the sensation and then relax the muscles. The more you can 'let go' of the perineal muscles, the easier it will be for them to 'give' during the birth. Some midwives believe perineal massage for six weeks before the birth and during labour reduces the need for an episiotomy - a surgical cut in the perineum - and subsequent stitches.

Breast Massage

This helpful preparation for breastfeeding is one you can practise in the bath. Using the flat of the hands, place the heel of each hand either side of one breast and gently stroke towards the nipple. Next place one hand on top and the other underneath the breast and again stroke towards the nipple. Repeat for the other breast, making sure the whole of each breast is stroked. Then gently stretch the pigmented area around each nipple with your index fingers, sideways and from top to bottom. If the nipples are flat, this exercise will help them to stand out.

You may find you produce a few drops of colostrum: massaging the breasts in this way is the basis of the technique for expressing milk and can be useful if you suffer any tender swelling - engorgement - of the breasts as is possible in the early days of breastfeeding. Massaging the nipples by gently rolling them between thumb and index finger has also been shown to help stimulate contractions during labour.

When not to massage?

Avoid massage in the following conditions, instances and disorders:
  • During the first three months of pregnancy
    It is generally not considered safe to massage pregnant women, particularly in the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage is highest. However, a gentle head massage, without oils, is acceptable, and a light gentle, loving, stroke appied to the face and brow will relieve anxiety and release stress.
  • High temperature/fever
    The body is already fighting off toxins as indicated by the rise in temperature. A massage would release even more unwelcome toxins into the system.
  • Open wounds, cuts and bruising
    Apply only light touch drainage massage around the site, to assist the blood flow towards the heart and encourage healing where bruising is present. Oil may aggravate an open wound. While giving a massage, cover up any open cuts or scratches on your hands with a plaster or other dressing.
  • Inflammation
    Avoid massage over an area of inflammation, (which could be due to fatty deposits causing a cyst) and massage will spread the infection. However in case of localised problems, adding a strong base of essential oil to your bath may help you to overcome, suffering with prickly heat and redness. Inflammation would include conditions such as thrombosis and phlebitis (painful clot in vein).

  • Blood Clots
    As massage could dislodge and move clot possibly causing a heart attack or stroke.
  • Varcoise veins, or history of thrombosis
    Do not massage over broken or varicose veins as the blood supply is impaired in this area. Massage will increase blood flow and flood the over-worked cappilaries and veins, possibly causing coagulation and affecting blood flow to the heart. Professionally trained therapists may effleurage gently when advised by consultant or general practitioner of patient.
  • Infectious skin diseases
    Bacterial infection, Lymphangitis, Fungal infection, Viral infections, Herpes, in these conditions it is always advisable to get consent of your medical practitioner before having massage. In case of severe skin problems, such as eczema or psoriasis - massage can add to dermal irritation.
  • Cancer
    Cancer can spread through the lymphatic system, and because massage increases lymphatic circulation, it may potentially spread the disease as well. Simple, caring touch is fine, but massage strokes that stimulate circulation are not. Always check with a doctor first.
  • Broken bones / Fractures
    Stay away from an area of mending bones. A little light massage to the surrounding areas, though, can improve circulation and be quite helpful. When a bone is weakened by a metastasis (spread of the cancer), deep pressure over it may worsen the pain or even cause a fracture.
  • Acute back pain
    Avoid massage, particularly if the pain shoots down the arms or legs when the back is massaged. Do not apply massage or pressure to the spinal column or other bony processes unless gently passing over the area to reach other areas of the body.
  • Other chronic conditions and diseases
    Consult a qualified medical practitioner if you having high blood pressure, diabetes or any heart disease prior to receiving massage therapy.

  • During the first three months of pregnancy
    It is generally not considered safe to massage pregnant women, particularly in the first trimester, when the risk of miscarriage is highest. However, a gentle head massage, without oils, is acceptable, and a light gentle, loving, stroke appied to the face and brow will relieve anxiety and release stress.
  • High temperature/fever
    The body is already fighting off toxins as indicated by the rise in temperature. A massage would release even more unwelcome toxins into the system.
  • Open wounds, cuts and bruising
    Apply only light touch drainage massage around the site, to assist the blood flow towards the heart and encourage healing where bruising is present. Oil may aggravate an open wound. While giving a massage, cover up any open cuts or scratches on your hands with a plaster or other dressing.

IT IS NOT ADVISABLE to expose your skin to the sun's rays within 12 hours of dermal application of base and essential oils.

Sensual Massage

Sensual massage is an intimate and wonderful way for two people to communicate with each other through touch. Massage between two people is connecting and sharing, giving and taking. The feeling of well-being and of being cared for is made more sensual by keeping the massage strokes lighter and the contact longer.

Reasearch has shown that the art of massage and touch has therapeutic effects, both physically and emotionally. The skin is the largest organ in the body, feeding the brain with information on our external environment, and if it is caressed gently and lovingly, then the brain will also relax and unwind. After a stressful day, massaging your partner allows you some time to wind down and enjoy each other's company.

Being massaged in a brightly lit room with blaring rock music may appeal to some, but for true sensuality it is better to create a relaxing and inviting atmosphere. Dim the lights or even use candles, prepare some aromatic oils and put some relaxing background music.

Have a warm, not hot, shower beforehand and make sure the room is warm enough. Both you and your partner must be really comfortable, so the bed or the floor are usually the best places for a massage. Massage in front of - but no too close to - an open fire is also extremely sensual, as the warmth and flickering light from the flames, combined with the soft crackle of burning wood, will help create a tender and loving atmosphere.

Basic Techniques
The secret to a really good massage is to maintain a constant confident touch, using flowing, unbroken strokes. Experiment with different pressures and speeds, exploring a range of different techniques and communicating with each other as to what feels most delightful.
To lubricate the areas that you intend to massage, pour some blended oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm them up. Apply enough oil that your hands glide smoothly over the surface of your partner's body, but remember that a little goes a long way.
Circle Strokes
These stretch out the muscles, releasing the tension from the soft tissues. They are best applied to broad surfaces, such as the back, thighs, chest and belly. Place both hands flat on the body, side by side. Lead with your right hand and move both hands in a clockwise direction, using a constant fairly gentle pressure.
Fanning Strokes
These strokes also release tension from the soft tissues and are ideal on the back, as it is a large broad surface. To fan upwards, place both hands flat at the base of the spine on each side of the vertebrae. Glide them both up, concentrating pressure in your palm before fanning out to the sides of the body. From here, mould your hands around the side of your partner's body and drag them down to the base again.
Kneading Strokes
These are ideal for fleshy areas, such as the buttocks and thighs, and release tension from the larger muscles. Imagine that you are kneading dough by squeezing a portion of flesh in your fingers and then rolling it from one hand to the other and back again.
Percussion Strokes
Rapid strokes that create a vibrating sensation help to improve skin tone and circulation to nerve endings. Hacking involves a series of chopping movements, with alternate hands concentrating on the same area. The wrists must remain relaxed, so the action is bouncy rather than stiff. Take care not to use too much pressure.


The Art of Sensual MassageAt home, you can incorporate massage techniques into your lovemaking. A very good book for learning massage techniques at home is "The Art of Sensual Massage" (by Gordon Inkeles, Robert Foothorap), the world’s most popular massage book! Originally printed in 1972, this book has been revised and updated in 2000. Employing easy-to-learn techniques and award-winning photography, this book has the reader massaging in a single evening. More than 200 photographs and illustrations, hints on oils, scents, and techniques. Whether you practise sensual massage as an experience on it's own or as the way to extended foreplay, this book will add a profound dimension to your intimate relationships.

In preparing for a sensual massage endeavor, just follow the tips outlined below:
  • Take the telephone off the hook or put on the answering machine to limit interruptions.
  • Set the scene. Turn the lights down low or light a few candles instead, scented with jasmine or vanilla. Make sure that your room is warm - we would recommend a setting of close to 80 degrees.
  • Add some soft, relaxing music to the background. Choose something that won't distract from the desired mood.
  • Having a luxurious bubble bath or shower, prior to your sensual massage session is a perfect way to enhance the overall experience.
  • As far as what to wear, less is definitely more. Ideally anything loose, comfortable, soft and easily removable would be optimal. A basic sheet, towel, blanket, or robe would be simply perfect.
  • Make sure you have all the props and eqipment you will need. Since massage tables are not practical in most homes, a bed, couch, or even the floor are all acceptable locales...
  • Use massage oil scented with essential oils of lavender or chamomile for relaxation; musk, patchouli, or ylang-ylang to heighten ardor. But remember, a little oil goes a long way, so use only a light coat that will allow your hands to glide smoothly over the body without pulling on the skin.
Communicate during the massage, letting your partner know when the touch applied feels good or if it is too heavy. Strokes applied too deeply may cause pain and discomfort, but strokes applied too lightly may lead the massaged person to fall asleep. The key is to vary the intensity of the strokes to suit your partner's taste. It is ideal to switch roles from "giver" to "receiver" after about 30 minutes of indulging.

Sensual Massage Oils

The romantic pleasure of massage with your partner will be heightened when you lovingly apply the aphrodisiac essential oils.
Loving Embrace
* 5 drops Rose (or substitute Ylang Ylang)
* 10 drops Sandalwood (or substitute Rosewood)
* 5 drops Bergamot
* 50 ml carrier oil (eg. Sweet Almond, Apricot or Grapeseed)
Adoring Devotion
* 3 drops Jasmine
* 9 drops Sandalwood (or substitute Rosewood)
* 9 drops Bergamot
* 50 ml carrier oil (eg. Sweet Almond, Apricot or Grapeseed)
Fooling Around
* 5 drops Sandalwood (or substitute Rosewood)
* 2 - 3 drops Ylang Ylang
* 5 drops Patchouli
* 2 - 3 drops Clary Sage
* 50 ml carrier oil (eg. Sweet Almond, Apricot or Grapeseed)

Benefits of Massage

Massage is an excellent preventive treatment essential for the maintenance of health and fitness. Prevention is always far better than cure. Nowadays, people of all ages are increasingly considering natural therapies as a way to encourage an improved sense of well-being and as a means to a long, happy and harmonious life free of illness.

People have been enjoying the benefits of massage for thousands of years. Records indicate that it was used in several ancient societies for a variety health reasons. Today, massage still provides benefits to all the systems of the body, some of which are outlined below.


Benefits to the Nervous System
The nervous system is profoundly influenced by the application of massage. The effects of massage may be soothing and sedative, providing relief from nervous irritability. Disorders such as insomnia, tension, headaches and other stress-related conditions respond to the healing power of touch as peace and harmony returns to the troubled mind. Alternatively, the effects of massage on the nerves may be stimulating, promoting an increase in the activity of the muscles, vessels and glands governed by them. It is invaluable in cases of lethargy and fatigue.

Benefits to the Muscular System

The muscular system derives enormous benefits. Muscles maintain a balance in relaxing and contracting. Some massage movements relax and stretch the muscles and soft tissues of the body, reducing muscular tension and cramp. Fibrous tissues, adhesions and old scar tissue can be broken down and cleansed of waste deposits. As muscles contract, toxic products are eliminated. Other movements produce the contraction of muscles promoting good muscle tone. Muscle fatigue and stiffness caused by overactivity, and the resulting build-up of toxic substances in the muscles, is reduced by muscular contraction and relaxation.

Benefits to the Skeletal System

The skeletal system is strengthened by using massage. Bone is indirectly affected by massage. Improvements to the circulation of blood and lymph in the muscles lead to better circulation in the underlying bones, benefiting their nutrition and growth. Stiffness of the joints, and pains resulting from conditions such as arthritis, are reduced providing comfort and ease of movement.

Benefits to the Circulatory System

The circulatory system also benefits from the action of massage. It takes the pressure off the arteries and veins, accelerating the flow of blood through the system providing relief for poor circulation and cardiac problems. The heartbeat strengthens, the rate of the heartbeat decreases and igh blood pressure is reduced.

Benefits to the Lymphatic System
The lymphatic system is stimulated and the flow of ly
mph is accelerated throughout the system. As the massage strokes are performed, the waste and poisonous substances which have accumulated in our overstressed bodies are rapidly eliminated.

Benefits to the Respiratory System

The respiratory system responds an increased activity in the lungs is stimulated by massage. As the treatment procceds, the breath slows and deepens. If necessary, mucuc and bronchial secretions can be encouraged to leave the lungs by percussive movements on the back and over the lungs.

Benefits to the Digestive System

The digestive system benefits when massage promotes the peristaltic activity (wave like motion) in the colon enhancing the elimination of faecal matter and combating constipation. It stengthens the muscular walls of the intestines and abdomen, and stimulates the secretion of digestive juices from the liver, pancreas, stomach and intestines.

Benefits to the Skin

The skin, both the activity and the nutrition of the benefit from massage. The sweat and sebaceous glands are stimulated, improving their function and ensuring the elimination of waste products. Skin condition, texture and tone are greatly improved - the skin is healthy and glowing following a treatment.

Benefits to the Genito-urinary System

The genito-urinary system, the use of abdominal and back massage promotes the activity of kidneys, which ehnances the elimination of waste products and reduces fluid retention.

Benefits to the Reproductive System

The reproductive system can also be improved. Abdominal and back massage can help to aaleviate mestural problems such as period pains, irregular mensturation, PMS and the symptoms of menopause.

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